Everybody needs some unicorns and cuppycakes sometimes.

This week, I'm volunteering at my church as a crafts helper for the pre-school through first grade children. The memory verse for today was Exodus 20:11, yet another reference to God's creation of the world, and His rest on the seventh day. The main crafts teacher repeatedly emphasized to each group of kids that everyone needs a break sometimes, even God. It got me thinking, and I decided to write today's blog post on this.

I'm sure you've heard at least once in your life, whether it be from your school, parents, or just random influences in your life, that leisure is unnecessary.

I'm going to just cut to the chase. I absolutely, totally, completely disagree. With all of my being.

I used to believe that. In high school, I took a lot of higher level classes, and the workload seemed almost insurmountable. Several (not-fun) people told me I was goofing off too much and I needed to manage my time better. In a way, they were right. I was young and immature, and I did need to develop my time-management skills better. However, I interpreted this in a way that was too extreme. I cut out almost all fun in my life so I could focus on school. It got so bad that it was suggested that I stop doing Bible study every day so that I could focus on my work, which I eventually did and which I'm still struggling greatly with getting back into. Don't get me wrong, all the hard work paid off. I graduated in the top 5% of my class and all that. I'm on my way to do great things. 

But that doesn't change the fact that I threw away a lot of the fun, character-developing experiences I could have had. I literally did not ever get out of my house until almost the end of my junior year, when my boyfriend and I got together and he showed me that it was okay to have a life (thanks babe, I never could have done this without you). I never went to a football game until my senior year. I rarely went to see the school plays. I went to my chorus concerts, which were about three times a year. I stopped going to youth group so I could do homework.

I was doing great academically.

I was doing horribly emotionally.

My whole life was consumed with work. I had no outlet. Sure, I had some friends to talk to, but I mostly kept to myself to make more time to get my work done. I would ask to do things, and my parents would make me feel guilty for wanting to do something other that schoolwork, so I eventually just stopped arguing, and then I stopped asking to do things outside the house altogether. (I don't want to blame my parents; I know they love me and it certainly wasn't their goal to depress me. They just want what's best for me.) I was so unhappy I was suicidal. It affected my friendships greatly. Many fights were had and I regret everything. And while I never did cut or actually attempt to kill myself, I contemplated it many times. I became anorexic as a result of the stress I was under (I'm still anorexic because the stress turned into body image issues that I'm still struggling with). I'm still not fixed - I still contemplate suicide sometimes, but it's very rarely. I have way too much to live for now. And it's all because I have a life. I allow myself to have fun, and I tell myself that the work will always be there. Don't get me wrong, I don't ignore it, and I allow adequate time to get it done. But I do this more efficiently now that I am happy.

My point is that if you allow your life to be consumed with work and if you never have fun, it will negatively impact your life in ways you never even dreamed existed.. I know you've at least heard of workaholics. They don't allow time for much else besides work, and a little bit of sleeping, breathing, and eating. Their families are often neglected, if they even took the time to start one. I'm absolutely not judging them, I'm just saying what I know from what I've seen. And I know that from my experience of being a workaholic (with school) that I never want that again. I don't ever want to make others the victims of my inability to enjoy life again.

If you're the victim of circumstances like these, or the victim of anything at all, please feel free to email me. Trust me, I understand. Everything will be okay. Just keep your head up and trust God. Remember, He understands what you're going through infinitely better than I do! So if you don't trust me to help you, maybe you should give Him a chance. After all, even the Man Upstairs needs a break sometimes.

And I'm sorry if I sound like one of those commercials that go, "If you are the victim of [insert disease/medication/procedural complications/etc. here], you may be entitled to compensation . . ."

You guys are so great. :)

~Bella